This week was almost too easy...

Jason can't even manage to learn the lyrics in front of the legends that are there to mentor his lame ass. It's an embarrassment...it's a joke...and even HE is laughing that he's still in this. I'm so tired of seeing the same empty, god awful "performance" on stage week after week. Please America, put down the bong... actually no, scratch that... keep the bong, and instead, put down the phone and STOP voting for this kid.



Brooke was once again stiff... she looked like a caricature of herself and she's noticeably uncomfortable now. Getting behind the piano always helps her case, but the shrieking just closed her door.

Oh Archuleta... Was i watching American Idol or was I in a booth at Dimples?? (For those of you who have not had the pleasure of patronizing this legendary karaoke establishment in So Cal, you'll have to just trust me). And, of course, he worked in the Pledge of Allegiance on song #2....suck it up... play the Patriotism card... i'm officially disgusted. This kid is coached beyond repair.



Neil loved him some Syesha. He was rather smitten. I, however, was not sucked in with the sugary sweet- sans shoes- show. On the second song, we got a front row seat at the Gospel Brunch... not bad, a good choice for her. Good thing Paula noticed the "tex-a-ture" in her voice. WTF??

My money is on David Cook. At the end of the day, Chris Daughtry has alot of fans to go around, and Cook is ready and willing to embrace them. Anyone who can seamlessly dabble with Dolly, overpower opera, and nail Neil Diamond is, in a word, READY.



Paula, Paula, Paula...what the hell is in that Coke cup anyway?? Time to hit the morning talk show circuit yet again to defend your supposed squeaky clean stance on the evils of drugs/drinking. I think I'll sleep in...I'm just not up for another PR scramble attempting to clean up her mess.

Remind me again why i watch this show??

Analyzing Your Idols,
Mattie Walsh

Now, to leave a lovely taste on your Idol tongue here is Neil and Barbara from back in the polyester pantsuit days...